LotR Reunion Party
by Frankenstein Elf
Summary: The Fellowship, as well as other people who were vital to the distruction of the Ring are invited to a party, and stuff happens. Rated Pg for...stuff. PLEASE R&R!! Chapter 11 up!
1. The Hobbits get Invited

Lord of the Rings Reunion  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own the usual - everything except what you read about in this story.  
  
I wrote this to occupy myself on a hot, dull day. Please forgive me if this isn't funny.  
  
Chaptr 1 - The Hobbits get Invited.  
  
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One hot, muggy morning, Aragorn sat up in bed and yawned. It had been 8 years since the Ring had been destroyed, and life had become rather dull, even for a king.  
  
"I need to go wild again. I need to party. But what kind of party'll I have?"  
  
He wondered.  
  
"I know-I'll post a poll on the internet. Let's see -  
  
A) Sleepover  
  
B) Pool Party  
  
C) Go to Chucky Cheese's  
  
D) Go to DZ"  
  
2 weeks later, preperations were made for a pool party. 12 dozen 10-foot- deep wash basins were attached together to form a pool, and tons upon tons of Mexican food was cooked. A radio was set up near the pool, with 20 speakers placed at different locations, along with a big screen TV to play music vidioes.  
  
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Elswhere, in Hobbiton, a new fad had come around. The hobbits had grown tired of hairy feet, and took up shaving them. In the middle of shaving their feet, Merry, Pippin, Sam, (Who were living with Frodo) and Frodo heard a loud knock on the door, which caused them to put deep long cuts in there feet. Hopping on one foot, Frodo answered the door.  
  
"D**m. All that for a piece of paper folded in half."  
  
"It's not just a piece of paper. Look!"  
  
responded Sam, also on one foot. He took the paper from Frodo, and opened it.  
  
"It's an invatation. Aragorn's haveing a party."  
  
"Why is Aragorn inviting us? We haven't seen him in 7 and a half years!!  
  
asked Merry. He had grown to dislike Aragorn, becouse he felt they had been ignored by him since he became king.  
  
"It's a reunion party. Everyone who took part in the destruction of the Ring is invited."  
  
responded Sam. Now both Merry and Pippin were, too, standing on one foot.  
  
"You mean Bormir's ghost's going to be there?"  
  
asked Pippin.  
  
"No, you dimwit!"  
  
Sam picked up a wodden statue and knoked Pippin to the ground with it. Pippin was left with another cut to attend to.  
  
"Meanie!!"  
  
"So, are we supposedto bring anything?"  
  
asked Merry, ignoreing Pippin's remark.  
  
"Yeah - a bathing suit, and something that will hold us out of the water, if we can't swim."  
  
answered Frodo.  
  
"It's a pool party."  
  
"Why does it have to be a pool party? Why? WWHHYYY?"  
  
Pippin passed out.  
  
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So? How is it so far? I was mostly makeing it up as I went, so it might not be as funny as I hoped. Pleas R&R!!  
  
Yours,  
  
SupergirlKK 


	2. Bad Hair Day

Once again, I write on a dull day.  
  
Chapter 2 - Bad Hair Day  
  
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Elswhere, in Rivendell, other, too, had recieved invatations. Legolas was trying to get knots out of his hair, after recently getting them in while bathing for the third time that day, when he hear a knock on the door. I should say, a pounding on the door. He wrapped his hair in a towel and answered the door.  
  
"Good afternoon, Ma'am. Will you please give this to Legolas Greenleaf the next time you see him?"  
  
said the man standing outside. He handed Legolas a piece of paper.  
  
"I as not a woman! I am Legolas Greenleaf, you idiot!"  
  
yelled Legolas, acting much like the sissy he looked like.  
  
"Well, excuse me!"  
  
replied the man, who turned on his heel, mounted his horse, and rode off.  
  
Legolas returned to un-knotting his hair. He had only one knot left, and the message could wait. Then, he found his hair dryer, and a cylender- shapped brush, and began to dry his hair and to brush it strait. At one point, he wrapped his hair around the brush. BIG mistake!! Try as he might, he could not remove the brush from his hair. Finnally, he decided that he must part with a large lock of his pride and joy. Right when he cut the brush out, he let out a wail.  
  
"WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
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When he calmed down, he turned his attention to the piece of paper that he had dropped on the vanity nearby. He sat down in the sitting room, expecting it to be a long letter from a reletive. He was wrong.  
  
"A Pool Party? What's a pool? And what the heak is a bathing suit? I always knew Aragorn was a tad queer!"  
  
He decided that a bathing suit was atowel, since that's what he wrapped around himself after he got out of a bath. He packed, and, trying to find a way to cover the large amount of short hair that remained rooted to his scalp, departed for Aragorn's palace.  
  
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Please don't flame me for writing such about Legolas. I can't help it if he is always soo clean, and if his hair is soo perfect!! Any how, if you have any suggestions, please review and let me know.  
  
Comming to the rescue, comming to fight the evils of boreing, hot summer days,  
  
supergirlKK. 


	3. Galadril - dirty and enjoying - er, lovi...

I'm back with another chapter. Thanx for the few reviews! I must ask, though, that you give more reviews if you want to see yet more chapters. Thanx!!  
  
Chapter 3 - Galadriel - dirty and enjoying, er - loving, absolutly LOVING it  
  
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Many miles away, in Lorien, Galadril was gardining - yes, gardening, when her invatation arrived.  
  
"Excuse me"  
  
came a voice behind the elf. She stood up quickly, whipeing her dirty hands on the seat of her pants. Don't ask me why she was wearing pants.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Her attitude wasn't expected, being the super-sweet woman she was.  
  
"I have a message for you."  
  
The man handed a slip of paper to Galadriel.  
  
"Very well. You may be on your way."  
  
As the man turned away, Galadril attempted to turn and run. This was not a very wise thing to do if you are standing in 1-inch-deep mud. She slipped, and fell face down.  
  
"My complexion!"  
  
she wined, picking herself up.  
  
"My nails!!"  
  
Suddenly, she realizes a large, painful sore on her arm. Near it is a wolly bear caterpiller.  
  
"Celeborn!! Get...it...off...of...me........NOW!!"  
  
Celeborn runs up, pulls the creature off of Galadriel, and marvels at how cute it really is.  
  
"It kind of reminds me of a teddy bear, like the one I almost ate dureing that Orange Juice Crisis!!"  
  
He carefully sets it down on a leaf. Galadril sighs.  
  
"It's going to eat my new plants!!"  
  
"It's just one animal, Galadril!!"  
  
"I don't care. Kill it now!! Get it out of my sight!!"  
  
Celeborn pickes it up and carries it to the rear of the house. He sets it on another plant.  
  
  
  
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Later that evening, while Galadril was packing, she felt another pain on her face. Lookinf in a nearby mirror, she saw a quite noticeable pimple.  
  
"Why? Why me? Why now? Why there? Why a pimple? WHY?"  
  
she wined. She grabs a tweezers. A servant speaks up.  
  
"Not a good idea, better just go to a dermintologist."  
  
"I do not have time. I must get rid of this horrid thing!! NOW!! Not in 2 weeks!"  
  
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thirty minuts later, Galadriel was just finishing with a makeover. The pimple left a terrible scar, that was even more noticeable than the pimple.  
  
"Nikki!"  
  
She turned towards the door.  
  
"A dictionary! Look up bathing suit!"  
  
A young hobbit comes into the room. It is carrying a very, very large book with very thin pages.  
  
"There is no definition for such a phrase in here."  
  
"Fine. Let's make our own. Bathing - the process of washing oneself. Suit - a garment covering the entire body. Thus, it must be a garment that you wear when you take a bath. That could be a problem, since I wear nothing while bathing."  
  
"How about just go wearing undergarments?"  
  
"Not a bad idea!! Now go prepare the carrage . I am ready to go." 


	4. A Dwarf's New Look

I forgot that in the Orange Juice Crisis, Celeborn didn't eat a bunch of stuff - Elrond did. Anyhow, please read my cuz's story about the it and review. She would apreciate the reviews. Just type Stupid Kitten and press find. (She is # 43.) Thanx!  
  
Chapter 4 - A Dwarf's new Look  
  
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It was one of those mornings thet made you think that nothing is wrong. Gimli had just finished breakfast, and had not yet been able to pull some clothes on when he heard a knock on the door. Still in his underwhere, he looked around for something to cover himself with. Spying an old cardboard box, he stepped into it and opened the door.  
  
"Good morning. Are you Gimli?"  
  
"No. Now, go away."  
  
"Yes, you are. No one can fool a Jedi. I an Luke Skywalker. I have been sent by your friend, Aragorn to give you this."  
  
Luke held out a slip of paper. Gimli accepted it, slammed the door, then hurried to get dressed.  
  
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Just hours later, he climed into his yellow Thunderbird and was on his way to Aragorn's palace. When he was halfway there, he began to drift off to sleep and BANG!! The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.  
  
"Wassen happened?"  
  
He asked a passing nurse.  
  
"You fell asleep while driving and hit a horse. Your face was all beat up, so you had to undergo surjury on your face. You look like Jar-Jar Binx."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Havn't you seen Star Wars?"  
  
"No,"  
  
"You should watch it sometime. Only unintelegent people haven't seen it."  
  
"I spek." (speak)  
  
"The ability to speak does not make you intellegent, now get to that party."  
  
Gimli, who totaly forgot about the party, jumped out of bed, changed clothes, and ran downstairs so fast he looked as though he was on fire. He got to Aragorn's palace in no time.  
  
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I know this chapter wasn't very funny. I just ate some cookies, and I am not very hiper...yet.  
  
Anyway, please review. I would like 25 reviews by the time the last chapter is up. Please help me!!  
  
SupergirlKK 


	5. Yippie - Yi - Yay

Hi! I'm back with yet another chapter. Continue to R&R!! Money still at stake!!  
  
Chapter 5 - Yippie - Yi - Yay  
  
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Dust blew into his eyes as Gandalf walked towards the bullpen where the bull he would ride in the rodeo was kept. He sighed. He still couldn't understand how he had gotten talked into participating in a rodio. He had never even came close to a mustang or a bull.  
  
"You should go ahead and try it, Gandalf,"  
  
Elrond had said.  
  
"It'll be fun. If you can ride Shadowfox bareback, you can ride in a rodeo."  
  
So, Gandalf entered. He wished he haden't.One look at those horns, anf the old man nearly passed out.  
  
"Attention: rider 445 please come to the bullpens and mount your bull."  
  
came the voice over the loudspeaker.  
  
"Here goes."  
  
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5 minutes later, Gandalf was still on the bull's back, getting thrown around, haveing the time of his life, until he got thrown. I mean THROWN. He landed on his butt, which hurt really, really bad. Not sore bad, like when you get a spanking, but broken bone bad. Then, he did pass out.  
  
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When he woke up three weeks later, he was lying on his stomach in a hospital. There was a slip of paper on the table next to him.  
  
"Aragorn...requests the presance of you at a pool party to-night. Do come. Bring bathing suit."  
  
He read.  
  
"What's a pool? And what is a bathing suit?"  
  
He looked at what hw was wearing. A robe.  
  
"Prehaps this is a bathing suit. This is similer to what I put on after I take a bath."  
  
An hour laer, he had just been told that his broked bones were healed, and that he could leave. When he stood up, he realized he could not walk - he could barely even shuffle. When he made it to the party, he was as fed up as the bull he rode earlier.  
  
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I know this chapter sucked, but I was really just writing it to pass the time. I'll try to be really hyper when I write the next chapter. Please Review!! 


	6. Fresh-shot bullets, any1?

I'm really bord, so I decided to add some more chapters, though they may be stupid. Please let me know what you think.  
  
Chapter 6 - Fresh Shot Bullets, Anyone?  
  
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Gollum, as old as he was, was still able to dive down extreamly far. He was spending a pretty day alone skinny-dipping. He always enjoyed doing this, being the strange creature he was and still is. He was always eager to add to his collection of fish skeletens, too. This is what he was doing on this particular day. All was going well until he heard a horse in the distance, and saw it comeing closer and closer.  
  
"Pardon me, but would you happen to be Gollum, or Smeagol?"  
  
"Yessss, and I wissssh I had the precioussss, so that I could rid myself of you."  
  
answered a wispery voice.  
  
"Fine. The invatation will go to the ghost of your old friend, Deagol."  
  
"NO! MINE! The paper issss mine. All mine."  
  
With that, the creature leaped out of the shadows in which he was hiding, and attacked the messenger, threw off his cloak, and whipped out a blaster rifele.  
  
"You shall not harm me, little being. I, Han Solo, can easily kill you."  
  
"I think not."  
  
Gollom, too, whips out a blaster rifile. They begin to shoot every which way, and to dodge bullets, like Neo in The Matrix. Smeagol makes his way towards the paper, grabs it, and, before he runs off, claims:  
  
"I am Yoda. You are foolissh to try to kill me. I am the most powerful Jedi."  
  
He turns to leave, than stops.  
  
"Oh, one more thing - I, and the rest of the Jedi council would appreciate it if you would join the fan club."  
  
Without another word, he turns and runs away at top speed. (estimated at around 60 mph.)  
  
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O.K. I might not think this is too funny, but you might. please - I beg you - PLEASE review!!  
  
SupergirlKK 


	7. Catch Me If You Can

Again, I am really bord. I have nothing to do but write and eat krack-o-pop party mix, so I came to add yet another chapter. Please review! I need lots of reviews! LOTS!!  
  
Chapter 7 - Catch Me, If You Can  
  
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Elswhere, Bilbo was haveing the time of his life in a strip club when a messenger decided to stop there on his way to Bilbo's home in the Havens. Realizing that he had been spotted, the hobbit attempted to blend in with the crowd while making his way to the door. This wasn't successful, for Aragorn's messengers were twice as smart as most hobbits put together. Once he got to the door, he started to shout.  
  
"Rapidash!! Get your flaming butt over here!" (yes, he owns a pokemon.)  
  
A white horse with fire for a mane and tail comes runningd up, and Bilbo smoothly slides on. They hurry off.  
  
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Once they got home, Bilbo was scorched from Rapidash's mane.  
  
"I've got to get a new steed."  
  
He walks towards the keep. A wide array of pokemon are there. There is a note balanced one of the posts.  
  
"What the heack is a pool party? I wander if they are going to the Dead Pools?It would be cool to have a chicken fight there."  
  
Hurrying to the house, he grabed a pair of boxers, jumps onto a bird pokemon, Pidgey. Within 1 and a half hours, he was in sight of the watch towers of Aragorn's castle.  
  
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Sooo, was it even a tad better? Sorry if the title of the chapter doesn't make any sense. Let me explain - there is a song on the Pokemon: The Movie soundtrack called catch me if you can. Please Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. Bambadil Iz Road Kill

I am not even Hyper. WWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!  
  
Disclaimer for this and all past chapters: I own nothing. Not LotR, not Star Wars. I am dirt poor.  
  
Chapter 8 - Bambadill iz Road Kill  
  
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Somewhere in the Old Forest, Tom Bambadil was looking for poisonous snakes and spiders, and other dangerouse creatures. He had recently began to call himself Steve Irwen, or The Croc Hunter. He often came close to getting killed, and he enjoyed it. He was about to pounce onto a youen croc when a voice made him stop.  
  
"You know, harming endangered species is a crime?"  
  
Bambadil turned to see a guy dressed completely in black.  
  
"I'm not harming it. I'm trying to get killed myself."  
  
"Then look for death elswhere."  
  
Bambadil frowned.  
  
"Anyway, to get to the point, Aragorn has sent you this."  
  
Yet another slip of parer changed hands. It didn't take long for Bambadil to set out for the palace. Soon after he set out, Tom's wish was granted. As he walked down a quiet, crappy dirt road, he began to be bothered by the scilence, ao he slipped on a pair of earphones and flipped on his walkman. Within 5 minutes, a horse drawn carrage was running over him, and his name was changed from Tom Bambadil to Tom Roadkill.  
  
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PLEASE REVIEW!! Everything excepted. Flames will be given to any hobbit with a pipe. 


	9. Beware the Shadowy Figures

Have you ever had that feeling that no matter how long you wait, you will always be bored?  
  
Chapter 9 - Beware the Shadowy Figures  
  
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Right when Aragorn's 'party yard' was ready - the pool put in, the radio and sound system set up, the TV in place, the food cooked and still hot - the 4 Hobbits arrived. Aragorn couldn't help noticing that their feet had very long cuts in them. Not long after, Legolas and Galadriel got there. Then Bilbo, in his boxers, and Gollum, still clutching his piece of paper, arrived, as well. Nobody noticed the shadowy figures in the far corner of the yard, except Arwen, who was so stupid, she didn't bother to say anything.  
  
For a few minutes, everyone was pretty bored, but suddenly, a woman's voice sang out.  
  
"Time to get this party started..."  
  
That turned them on. Pretty soon, a group of hobbits were standing on tables, doing the Macarena. (If you haven't the slightest idea what this is, jump off of a bridge. Shoot yourself in the head. You are an embarrassment.) Once everyone figured out what was happening, there wasn't a single being that wasn't moving crazily.  
  
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Meanwhile, in the far corner, the group of shadowy figures turned out to be the ghosts of a number of dead characters, such as Shelob, Boromir, Deagol, Smaug, and Drogo. They were planning to pull what they thought would be a hilarious prank.  
  
"O.K.,"  
  
hissed Deagol.  
  
"Get a move on."  
  
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Okie-doky. Another chapter complete. You know, if I don't get any new reviews by 3:00, I refuse to write any more. (Not that many people care...)  
  
Signed,  
  
SupergirlKK 


	10. Living Bon-fire

O.K. - my cuz's just left, and I am no longer that board. I now have faith that I can write funny stuff.  
  
Chapter 10 - Living Bon-Fire  
  
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When people started to hear the music and saw the people in Aragorn's 'party yard', they flocked over. Eventually, a large crowd gathered, as was always the case. Aragorn walked up to the greeters, curiouse to see why they didn't obey his orders to allow only the people with invatations to enter.  
  
Greeter 1: "They all have invatations. See?"  
  
He holds up an invatation. It looks like the rest.  
  
Aragorn: "Did you look inside to see if my signature was there?"  
  
Greeter 2: "No. We didn't see hte need to. You see, they look exactly the same."  
  
Aragorn opens one invatation. It has a signature, but it definatly was not his.  
  
Aragorn: "That...is...it...you...dim...wits! You...are...fired...as...of...now!! Go...home! NOW!"  
  
He hurries off to find 2 new greeters and to get the other so-called guests out.. In the process, he notices what a great time his friends that he invited were haveing with the other 'guests'. He decided not to. Placing 2 more people at the gates, and began to crowd surf. (That's when you jump up, and someone catches you, and you are passed from one person to another.)  
  
Legolas: "Hey, that looks like fun!"  
  
He jumps up and is cought. Unfortunatly, he is quite near the wall, which is lined with nothing but a bunch of large torches. With his hair swinging around, it did not take long for it to catch fire.  
  
Legolas: "My hair! My precious, beautiful hair!!!"  
  
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Soooo, am I doing O.K.? Was it as funny as I hoped? Please Review!  
  
Advertisement: Penname: stupidkittensbro Story: Calls to Miss Cleo  
  
Please read and review my cuz's first fic! He would appreciate it. Everything accepted. Flames will be given to hobbits who own pipes.  
  
Thanx,  
  
supergirlKK 


	11. The Gangrene Boys

Chapter 11 - The Gangrene Boys  
  
Sorry it took me so long to update. If anyone wants to flame me for this chapter, have mercy, because it pains me to write this for two reasons I wish to keep to myself in case eyes begin to drift towards the computer monitor.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothin' except the idea.  
  
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Everyone was having fun (even those who were previously removed from the story. They have returned!!). Everyone was eating. Everyone was dancing. Everyone was swimming. Merry and Pippin were climbing out of the pool to claim a wedding cake. Merry turns to Pippin.  
  
Merry: "Why is there a wedding cake here? Who got married?"  
  
Pippin looks confused. He cries.  
  
Pippin, between sobs: "I don't know how to answer questions!! The only thing I know how to do is ask stupid questions!!!"  
  
Pippin runs away, still sobbing. Merry looks confused. He picks up the wedding cake and hurries away with it, and picks up a sharp knife along the way. After eating half of it, he stuffs the rest of it into some nearby bushes, than hurries off to find Pippin. He finds him in the pool.  
  
Pippin: "Why is your foot green?"  
  
Merry: "Huh? Green?"  
  
He looks down. His foot is covered with green scabs, particularly around where he had cut himself while shaving his feet the other day. Merry looked at Pippin.  
  
Merry: "Look at your foot. Is it.green?"  
  
Pippin timidly lifts his foot up. It is covered in gangrene.  
  
Pippin: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"  
  
Pippin runs and hides himself. Merry runs to find the doctor in attendance. By the time he gets to the infirmary, his foot is black, and everyone has ralphed. As we leave this scene, Merry is getting his leg amputated, and Pippin is being tied to a chair nearby, also with a black foot and green leg.  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%  
  
Sooo. r u going to review?? Pretty please?? Would you pretty please read and review my cuzs' stories? Their pen names r chan boi and stupid kitten. We appreciate it.  
  
Yours, Frankenstein Elf (formerly SupergirlKK.) 


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